Happiness - Losing the Dead Weight
Hi! This is an exciting one today I think. Parts of this post describes my revelations which led to me making some of the first great decisions I have made so far. These decisions have led me to looking to the future excited and content with what I am doing for the first time!
So, the theme to this post is basically built around making yourself happy and keeping yourself that way ensuring nothing gets in the way with that. You may be thinking that sounds quite easy or simple but trust me it isn't. There are some scenarios that will definitely throw a spanner in the works and bring your life to a defined stop, Its more how you approach these and how reactive you are to them that ultimately decides your fate further down the line. Unfortunately I have dealt with my fair share of stoppages in my life whether that's with friends or family. The great thing about these stoppages is that YOU are in control and that you will always learn off them which is why I see myself as fortunate going through them. Making the right move at these pinnacles puts you on the right path and WILL ensure you come out in tact and decently happy!
I have made a list of some of these stoppages and life events which I feel can lead to setting you back or making you better off depending on your decision. You will quickly realise it's how strong you are to put yourself first that will prevail.
1. Friends. Don't get me wrong having friends and having the closest beside you really do make your life great but I am talking about stoppages between them. These can include friends who have stabbed you in the back, ones that make zero effort with you and the ones who you know just take advantage of your kindness and generosity. Not many people see the line between friendship and acquaintance which is what causes these I believe. Don't fool yourself because you are the one hurting yourself here when suddenly one of these "friends" goes AWOL. If a friend can do one of the things I mentioned above then ditch them because they simply do not care and thinking of just themselves, and they are happy with that. This is my point! You should be doing the same!? In my eyes, someone not putting in effort will not receive any from me. Someone who stabs me in the back or takes advantage of me will not be seen again. Don't concern yourself with someone else's happiness, just your own. Be selfish and focus on doing something that makes you happy and be with people who WANT to share that with you.
2. Work. Yup this shite. Its absolute utter shite when you are not enjoying it. As soon as you realise that you don't enjoy it, find something else! You don't need to prove anything to anyone. Nothing is worst than looking back on a 30 year career and regretting it, but you did it for the family and money. The family and money come from a happy life at work. Take the time to search and try different things until you feel in your element. This does not mean however you can quit because you dislike co-workers, customers or clients. We all have a colleague or customer we hate but that should not affect the way you feel towards your job. Something can be done about people, not the job. As soon as you know you wont be totally happy where you are then leave because you deserve to be somewhere that you will thrive in and be happy. Everything else will just fall into your lap. Be selfish, be yourself and kill it to be better off in the future.
3. Family. This is an important one as it's one we all can't avoid, bonded by blood etc. There will always be pivotal moments in our families lives as no one is perfect but rising above these scenarios defines who we are and how we move on in life. These scenarios can be small or huge but ultimately deserve the same amount of decision making to get out on top. It does not matter who done what to who, only that you move on in your own way. Keep a grudge sure but don't let it affect your life, ensure they cant affect yours which I have seen first hand. I have been so lucky in terms of my family dynamics because when negative things came up my parents made the right decision to make us and them as better off as possible. Yes a lot is coming out when I'm older but it's only so I can understand my parents point of view which I appreciate now. It made sense for them to forget, not forgive and forget but just forget so they wouldn't have to see the negativity and bring that in to me and my siblings upbringing which was really mature and smart to do. Being nurtured on those feelings would have been detrimental to us and I can only commend that decision. Just don't let family feuds let risk what you want to do and forget the nonsense. You are the important one. You are an individual with goals, not even family should restrict you. On that note! Also forget about expectations on you from family because doing something to just make them happy is ridiculous. They are happy when you are. Just read my previous posts about this on Overthinking and Freedom!
4. Yourself. This is where it gets personal. You ultimately are the greatest object you will ever face. You must overcome yourself to achieve the what you thought was impossible. Push and find the strength to prove yourself wrong and test your limits. Don't be afraid of failure as it's only you that you are letting down..seriously. Tell yourself you are capable, stronger and better than you think and you will be surprised on what you can achieve. Overcoming this stoppage from yourself will ring true and hopefully prove to yourself that you are also worth a lot more than you think. Saying "I'm better than this" or "I can do this" shows self belief and it works especially if you really really want something. I'm hoping to prove this myself very soon to you guys. There is no hurdle large enough than your mind. Jump over it and become the person you want/need to be and you will truly be in a good place. Be the person you dream about!
The list above were I thought the stoppages that give us the opportunity to either make a good decision or succumb to anger, doubt and depression. If you do what I said than you have nothing to worry about as you have it sorted as you know its important to be selfish and think about yourself before others to be happy.
Before everyone starts, I'm obviously not saying that being selfish is the way to go. Just be prepared to drop people and scenarios that could have a negative effect on you because you are better than that. You make your life reacting to so much change around you. There are situations where in that circumstance you can't avoid it as it affects you directly but it still doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your life and happiness. The point I'm trying to make is that I was always believed that everything around me affected how I would live my life, which is so wrong. I just wanted to make everyone else happy but myself, but at that point I didn't understand my developing self so did not give myself the chance. I am now in a space in which I am proud of as I have dropped all the dead weight in the scenarios detailed above. I am ready to discover myself so I can have the best future possible and one I can blog about being the best one and having no regrets. Do the same!!
Be yourself, don't worry about family and friends. Be yourself and let the happiness come to you. Lose the dead weight holding you back and be something you only dream about.